Long day today. Saw the oncologist. Realised that I’d been keeping the whole “cancer” thing at arm’s length, but seeing him brought it right back into perspective: Mum is not just unwell, recovering from something, she has a terminal disease. Because the primary is in the bowel there is a gentle, tablet form of chemo she can try if she wants. The main side effect is likely to be fatigue, but because she’s older the side effects might be quite difficult. He’s given us a week to consider it. He says that it's entirely up to Mum and he'll totally understand if she chooses not to have treatment. He also talked about radiotherapy for the tumour in the bowel - this tumour could become a problem and cause an obstruction, but he'll wait 'til next week to talk about this further.
The hospital rang to say they'd found Mum's wedding ring. She lost this on the day of the diagnosis. They found it in the shower. My brother went to the hospital to get it.
We went to the solicitors to get a copy of Dad's will and then I posted all the paperwork I've been gathering to my friend who's a solicitor. We're trying to put Mum and Dad's affairs in order before either of them die, trying to work out how to structure their finances - the house and their shares.
Finally, we went to Mum's house, our old family home. I think it was very melancholic for Mum to see it, and realise that so much of the things that she has collected over her life just don't matter anymore. She got together a few personal items, and then we came home. It was a hot day as well so it wiped her out a bit.
Later I spoke with my sister in law about her coming over to stay with Mum while I'm at work. She can come every second week, and we said to start from next week but it might be better the week after when/if Mum starts Chemo.
Mum seems inclined to start Chemo - give it a go and see what happens.
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